The purpose of this blog is to help me processes my mom being terminally ill.  She was diagnosed with ALS last month,  but I’ve known something was up for years. Supposedly, she has 3-5 years left.  This is way messier than I could had braced for. Some days are too painful to deal. Some days are blissfully numb. All days are too loud to think let alone write.

This is something I can’t make sense of — I can’t wrap it up neatly in a box and present it to my friends.  I’m not ok. I’m far from God and distracting myself with willful sin,  I’m dealing with chronic illness  myself (way less severe), my frustration is leaking into my other relationships.  Everything has been so hard up to this  and now I don’t have any fight left. What I have is the knowledge that His word still stands, it’s still true, and it’s holding up my sorry soul.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  – Lemenations 3:21-22

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